Started therapy yesterday and I'm already dreading the next session

Nov 301 min read

Got my first appointment done with a therapist who specializes in dad anxiety. Spent most of it talking about how I'm worried I'm messing up my 4-year-old by not being more patient. Therapist said something about me being "hypervigilant about parenting mistakes" and now I can't stop thinking about it. Anyone else feel like therapy just gives you more things to worry about? Or does it get better?

9 comments105 views

Comments(9)

NNick G.Regularjust now

The hypervigilance thing resonates with me hard. I'm constantly analyzing if I'm messing my kids up and it's exhausting. The therapist calling that out is probably exactly what you need to hear, even if it's uncomfortable right now.

RRussell D.Regularjust now

The "hypervigilant about parenting mistakes" thing might actually be the insight that unlocks something though. It's worth sitting with that even if it feels weird. Like, that's real and it probably affects how you show up for your kid.

TTerrence J.Regularjust now

Don't bail on therapy yet. First sessions are always awkward and weird - you're trying to explain your whole life to a stranger. The fact that something the therapist said stuck with you means they might be on to something. Give it at least 3-4 sessions before you decide.

LLarry K.Regularjust now

The hypervigilance comment is hitting me because I do the same thing. I'll snap at my kid for something small and then spiral about how I'm damaging him. It's exhausting. Did the therapist give you anything actionable or just the observation?

TTony F.Regularjust now

Okay but the therapist might be right. Hypervigilance about parenting mistakes is a real thing and it's exhausting. The fact that you can't stop thinking about what she said suggests it hit something true. That's actually when therapy starts working.

RRandy B.Regularjust now

I'd say the fact that the therapist's comment stuck with you means she identified something worth exploring. That discomfort is usually where growth happens in therapy. Don't quit yet.

JJosh E.Regularjust now

How long were you in therapy before you started dreading sessions? Because sometimes that means you're getting uncomfortable, which is when the actual work happens. Or it could mean the therapist isn't the right fit.

LLeo R.New Dadjust now

First therapy session nerves are normal. You're basically paying someone to point out your anxiety patterns, which feels bad at first but gets better. Stick with it.

ZZack M.Regularjust now

That's actually a really important observation though. A lot of anxious parents are hypervigilant about their parenting and it can actually become self-fulfilling - you're so worried about messing up that you create situations that validate the worry. Therapy is probably exactly what you need.