Some days I feel like I'm totally screwing this up. Like I lose my patience too easily, I'm not present enough, I work too much. Then I spiral thinking about how my kids are gonna remember me as the angry dad or the distant dad. Anyone else deal with this? How do you work through these thoughts?
You're not screwing it up. The fact that you're worried about it means you care. I used to have the same spirals about whether I was present enough. Therapy helped me realize that showing up is most of the battle.
Being present is hard when you're juggling work and everything else. But from what you're saying you're aware of it and that's the first step. Being a good enough dad is honestly all any of us can be.
I get it, I really do. Some nights I feel like I'm not doing enough either. But try to give yourself some grace - you're doing the work and that's what counts.
Hey man, the fact that you're worried about being good enough means you already are. I used to spiral like that too, but my kids don't remember the days I lost my cool. They remember the times I showed up.
Those feelings are real, but here's the thing - you reaching out and talking about it shows you care deeply about getting it right. That's already half the battle.
I'm five months in and this is like half my thoughts every day. The anxiety about doing it right never really goes away I think but I'm learning that perfect doesn't exist. Your kids don't need perfect, they need you.
I struggle with this constantly. Some days I'm Mr. Patient Dad and some days I'm yelling about spilled milk. The key is not beating yourself up about the bad days. Kids are resilient and they know you love them.
These feelings are normal but you should really talk to someone about the anxiety if it's affecting you regularly. Being a dad is hard and there's no shame in getting support. I've talked to a therapist twice and it helped.
You're not screwing it up. The fact that you're worried about it means you care enough to be a good dad. I lose my patience some days too and my kids still know I love them. Being present when you can is what matters.
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The impatience thing gets me too. Some days I lose my cool over stuff that shouldn't matter and then I feel like garbage about it. I'm learning that one bad day doesn't make you a bad dad. You're still here trying which counts for a lot.