I lay awake at night sometimes worrying that I'm messing them up. Like did I yell too much today? Am I teaching them the right values? Is screen time rotting their brains? My wife says I'm being too hard on myself but I can't shake this feeling that I'm always one mistake away from ruining everything. Has anyone else dealt with this? How did you get past it?
First time dad here and this is literally my biggest fear. Some nights I can't sleep because I wonder if I'm screwing things up already. How do you manage it day to day?
Man, I feel this in my bones. I do the same thing at like 2am just replaying the day. The fact that you're worried about it means you're probably doing better than you think. My therapist told me that good dads have these doubts, bad dads don't care. That stuck with me.
The yelling thing gets me too. I've been working on it, and honestly some days are better than others. What helps is I try to apologize to them when I lose it. Shows them I'm human and also that it's not okay to yell. Kids respond to that.
Man, those 3am worries are real and I get it with four kids. But honestly if you're thinking about whether you're doing it right, you probably are. The fact that you care this much tells me your kids are lucky.
Those late night spirals happen to all of us. Here's the thing though - you're showing up and asking these questions, which means you're a good dad. Some imperfection is actually good for kids.
The fact that you're lying awake worrying about getting it right means you're already doing better than you think. Every dad feels this way sometimes, but it passes.
I deal with this too and it's exhausting. One thing that actually helped was keeping it in perspective. Did I yell? Yeah maybe. But did I also play with them, help with homework, make them feel loved? Almost always yes. You're one person trying to do an impossible job. Give yourself some credit.
This anxiety about being enough is real for a lot of us. Have you considered talking to someone about it? A therapist who specializes in parenting anxiety could really help you work through whether your concerns are legit or if anxiety is just running the show.
This hits different when you're splitting time with another parent. I wonder constantly if my choices are affecting them worse because they're going between two houses. Just started journaling about it and it's helping.
The lying awake thing is so relatable. But real talk - if you're worried about being a good enough dad, you probably already are one. The dads who mess up their kids usually aren't losing sleep over it. That worry you're feeling? That's you caring. That matters more than being perfect.
Sign in to join the conversation.
Man, I'm right there with you on this one. I have nights where I replay conversations in my head wondering if I was too harsh or if I missed something. What helped me was remembering that being a good dad isn't about being perfect. It's about showing up, trying your best, and yeah, messing up sometimes but being willing to make it right. Kids are actually pretty forgiving.