The kids are with their mom every other week and when they're gone the house is dead silent. I work from home so I don't really interact with people much. I've been trying to get out more, joined a gym, but it's hard to make real connections with other guys my age. Therapy has helped but some nights are still really tough. Anyone have advice on building a social circle as a divorced dad in his 40s?
The quiet house after they leave is the worst part for me too. What helps is I try to schedule stuff with my buddies or just get out of the house entirely. Sitting there thinking about it just makes it worse.
That dead silence hits different when you're used to chaos, doesn't it? I'd say use it. Hit the gym, call up some friends, pick up a hobby you never had time for. My weeks without the kids became my time to recharge so I could be better when they came back. Took me a while to see it as a positive though.
Working from home makes it even harder because there's no separation between work and home life. When I got my schedule right with homework time and making dinner when the kids are here, those off weeks became less about missing them and more about taking care of myself.
That silence hits different when they're gone. I'm in the same boat with the every-other-week schedule, and I had to find ways to fill that time with something meaningful instead of just waiting for them to come back. It's tough but it gets easier.
I feel you man. With four kids and long work hours, I still struggle with that isolation feeling even when the house is full. Maybe try finding a routine for those quiet weeks that has nothing to do with the kids, something just for you.
Loneliness after divorce is real and I won't minimize it. But you're working which is good structure. Have you looked into any dad groups or counseling? Sometimes just talking to other guys going through the same thing makes a difference.
Man, I feel this hard. When my kids are at their mom's place, I used to just sit there feeling the weight of it all. What helped me was finding something to do on those weeks - I started volunteering at the community center coaching kids' soccer. Keeps me busy AND I feel like I'm doing something good. The silence gets easier when you fill it with purpose instead of fighting it.
Man, I feel this one hard. The every-other-week thing is rough. Have you thought about picking up something during those weeks when they're gone? I started doing grilling prep projects and it helps fill the silence a bit.
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I know this feeling. When my son is at his mom's, I honestly just go to the garage and work on projects. Keeps my mind busy and I've actually gotten pretty good at fixing things. Not the healthiest approach maybe, but it helps. Have you thought about talking to someone though? Like a therapist? The loneliness piece is real and it's worth getting help for.