Taking antidepressants made a real difference
I was hesitant to get on medication because I wanted to handle this myself. Tried every other thing first. After 6 months of struggling I finally agreed to try SSRIs and honestly it's like someone turned the volume down on all the noise in my head. I'm not suddenly happy all the time but I can think clearly again. Not posting this as advice for anyone else but just wanted to say that if you're on the fence about it, talking to your doctor might be worth it. No shame in getting help.
Same here - I was stubborn about it too. Once I got on something that worked, those early morning hours I cherish became actually peaceful instead of just me spiraling in my head. Worth it.