The 3am spiral is killing me

Jan 13·1 min read

Every night around 3am I wake up and suddenly I'm catastrophizing about money, my job, whether I'm a good dad, if my marriage is okay... it's like my brain won't shut off. By the time the kids wake up I'm exhausted and irritable. I've tried the sleep hygiene stuff, melatonin, cutting caffeine. Nothing helps. And I can't even tell my wife because she's already stressed about her own stuff. Feeling pretty alone in this one.

5 comments413 views

Comments(5)

TTrevor M.New DadJan 14

This is worth talking to your doctor about. That consistent wake time combined with spiraling thoughts might be worth investigating. Could be sleep apnea or just anxiety but worth ruling out the medical stuff first.

OOwen F.RegularJan 14

I read something about the 3am wake being connected to cortisol levels and financial stress making it worse. Started putting money in savings specifically for emergencies and the panic got noticeably better. Not saying it solves everything but addressing the actual worry helped.

JJay H.New DadJan 14

The 3am brain is real. I started keeping my phone across the room so I have to actually get up and break the spiral instead of doom scrolling while lying in bed. Sounds dumb but it actually helps.

BBrad N.RegularJan 16

Journaling whatever's in your head at 3am sounds annoying but it gets it out so you can actually go back to sleep. I was doing the same thing and once I started writing down the catastrophizing it took maybe 10 minutes instead of two hours.

LLarry K.RegularJan 16

My therapist suggested this is usually anxiety mixed with actual sleep problems. You might need to address both angles. The thoughts feel so real at 3am because your brain is literally in a more negative state during sleep disruption.