Kids are 6, 4, and 2. Wife works nights. I do mornings and bedtime solo. I cannot remember the last time I slept more than 5 hours straight. I'm not depressed or anything, just... bone tired. Everything feels harder. Even simple tasks feel impossible. I snapped at my boss yesterday over an email. I know I need to do something but I don't even know where to start. Coffee isn't working anymore lol
This hits hard because I was here two years ago with similar ages and same schedule. The sleep deprivation alone will mess with your mental health even if depression isn't there yet. You need to advocate for yourself here.
The bone tired thing is real and people don't talk about it enough. It's not depression or anything dramatic, just the slow grind of never getting enough sleep. Have you tried like, anything to get more rest? Pushing back bedtime for the kids, napping when they nap, anything?
Three kids under 6 AND your wife works nights AND you're solo for mornings/bedtime? That's not "just tired," that's a man running on fumes. The depression might come later if nothing changes.
I get that you say you're not depressed but have you talked to anyone about this? Because 5 hours every night for an extended period is actually something a doctor should know about. Not being dramatic - that's a real medical situation.
I did the solo mornings and bedtimes thing for a year and it literally broke me. Everything made me angry because I was always running on empty. Wife thought I was just being lazy but it was pure exhaustion. We finally got a babysitter once a week so I could sleep in and it changed my entire life.
5 hours straight is rough. That's not sustainable long-term. Even if you're not clinically depressed, sleep deprivation IS a crisis. Have you been able to talk to your wife about getting you some longer stretches?
The three kids ages you listed are peak chaos energy and I'm genuinely sorry. 6, 4, and 2 means you're always in the thick of it with zero breaks. That's not just tiredness, that's operating on empty. Can your wife take a morning shift even once a week so you can sleep in?
5 hours straight is legitimately brutal man. That's the kind of exhaustion that makes everything feel impossible. Have you talked to your wife about maybe switching up the nights schedule? Like even one extra hour would probably change your whole outlook.
You said you're not depressed but honestly that level of sleep deprivation looks a lot like depression. When you're running on fumes your brain chemistry gets messed up too. Not saying go to therapy necessarily but maybe talk to your doctor about the exhaustion because it compounds everything.
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"Bone tired" is how it starts. You're describing what exhaustion looks like when you've got zero recovery time. Is there any way to get even one full night a week where she handles everything so you can actually sleep?
The "everything feels broken" comment - yeah that's what chronic sleep deprivation does. It's not about being weak or needing to tough it out. Your body literally needs more rest. Can you hire someone for a couple nights a week to give you a break?