The guilt after losing my temper is worse than the anger itself

6d ago·1 min read

I snapped at my 9yo this morning because he wasn't ready for school fast enough. Sent him to school feeling like crap and now I'm sitting at work just replaying it in my head. He didn't do anything wrong. He was literally just being a slow kid. The guilt is eating me alive and I won't see him for like 8 hours. I apologized to him before drop-off but man, this shame spiral is real. Does anyone else experience this guilt loop? How do you climb out of it?

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Comments(5)

SSean A.Regular5d ago

He's probably already forgotten about it or at least not holding it against you the way you're holding it against yourself. Kids are resilient. But yeah the guilt replaying is tough

MMack G.New Dad5d ago

I do this exact thing - snap, feel terrible for 8 hours, actually talk to my kid and he's like 'oh ok dad' and moves on immediately. The guilt loop is all in our head

SSteve L.Regular4d ago

One snap in the morning is not 'terrible partner.' That's called being human. If it's happening every single day that's different, but one moment of impatience while getting ready for school is normal

NNate C.New Dad4d ago

The fact that you feel bad about it means you're a good parent. Bad parents don't do the guilt spiral. Your kid will remember 'dad yelled once' way less than he'd remember if you never acknowledged it

MMitch R.Regular4d ago

Text him an apology or bring it up tonight. Not big emotional thing, just 'hey I snapped this morning and it wasn't cool, that wasn't about you.' Takes 30 seconds and resets everything