I love my kids and I'm grateful but there's this weird loneliness that comes with fatherhood. All my friends without kids are still out doing stuff and I'm home with a 2 year old and a newborn. My wife is overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed, and we barely talk except about logistics. I miss having actual conversations with adults. I miss feeling like myself. Is this normal or am I depressed?
Man, I feel this. Once my kid came along, all my buddies just kept living their old lives and it's tough watching from the sidelines. But the trade-off has been worth it for me, even if it's lonely sometimes.
The gap between dad life and no-kid life is real. I'm at every game and practice now so I barely see my old crew anymore. But you're doing something they're not, you know?
I felt this hard when I was splitting custody. You're doing this incredibly important thing that nobody else is doing quite the same way, and there's nobody who totally gets it. It's a weird solitude.
That loneliness is real and nobody talks about it enough. You can be in a room full of people you love and still feel isolated. Some of it is just the weight of responsibility, I think.
The gratitude and the loneliness can exist at the same time and that's okay. Love your kids and also acknowledge that this role can feel isolating sometimes. Both things are true.
Yeah this is real and nobody talks about it enough. You're responsible for these tiny humans but nobody's checking in on YOU. I found that getting outside with the kids helped - not always with them, sometimes just me and the trails. Resets something.
The loneliness is weird because you're never actually alone but you can still feel isolated. The parenting stuff is great but it doesn't replace adult connection. Have you tried finding a dad group or even just regular hangouts with other dads?
I hear you on this. Even when you're surrounded by people all day, there's a different kind of alone. Most of my old friends don't have kids yet so conversations feel disconnected. I started looking for dad groups just to talk to people in the same headspace.
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Try connecting with other dads who get it. A lot of us feel the same thing and just don't say it out loud. This forum has helped me feel less alone in it.