I never do this. But yesterday I called in and told them I wasn't well (technically true). Spent the day watching TV while my wife handled the kids. Felt guilty the whole time but also... I needed it? Sometimes I think dads aren't allowed to have bad mental health days. We're supposed to just push through.
The fact that you felt guilty the whole time is peak dad guilt lol but honestly? Taking a mental health day is actually good modeling for your kids. Shows them it's okay to admit you're struggling.
This is actually what good mental health looks like—recognizing you need rest and taking it. Not the forced-smiling-through-everything thing everyone expects from dads
this is legit important. dads especially never give themselves permission to just be sad or tired. we're supposed to push through and be strong and it's bullshit. good on you for listening to yourself.
Real talk: taking a mental health day to just be is legitimate. You weren't hanging with buddies or out doing stuff—you were processing. Your wife had the kids, everyone was safe, you recharged. That's the whole point
The guilt is because you're used to powering through. But think about it: if your wife said 'I need a day to just feel my feelings,' you'd probably say she deserved it right? Same applies to you
One day isn't enough though if you're at the point where you need to call out of work just to fall apart. No judgment—but might be worth talking to someone about what was building up to that? Could be stress, depression, burnout, or just needing to process something.
Did you eventually tell your wife what was actually going on or did you keep it as the 'technically true' version? I'm asking because my wife figured out I was having a mental health thing and was mad I didn't just tell her, not that I took the day.
I do this maybe once a quarter now and stopped feeling guilty after the first time. Sometimes you just gotta sit with the sad instead of pushing through. Honestly healthier than white-knuckling it for 5 more years
Don't feel guilty about that. You needed it. Mental health days are real and taking one is not lazy or weak or unfair to your family. Your wife can handle the kids for a day. You deserved the reset.
I did this for the first time last year and felt SO much shame about it. But my therapist pointed out that if I never take time to process my own stuff, it just leaks into my parenting anyway. So technically taking the day off IS for my family.
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Don't feel guilty about this. You needed it and you took it. That's actually good mental health practice, not failing