Why do I feel guilty for being frustrated with my kids?

Jan 2·1 min read

My 9yo and 7yo were fighting about a toy for literally 20 minutes this morning and I genuinely lost patience. Sent them to their rooms. Now I feel guilty all day like I'm a bad dad because I got frustrated. But like... I'm human? Parents are allowed to get frustrated, right? Or am I supposed to stay zen and understanding forever? This guilt spiral is worse than the frustration sometimes.

5 comments332 views

Comments(5)

NNolan J.RegularJan 2

This is so normal. Every parent feels this way. The frustration doesn't make you a bad dad, how you handle it next time will define things. You've got this.

LLance K.RegularJan 2

I started setting a timer for shared toys after my 8yo and 6yo had similar blowouts. Two minutes each, then it switches. Sounds harsh but it actually stopped the endless arguing and I'm way less frustrated now.

TTyler H.RegularJan 3

The fact that you feel guilty means you care. My therapist pointed out that the parents who lose their cool and THEN feel bad are usually better parents than the ones who don't care at all. Perspective shift helped me.

MMatt J.RegularJan 4

Try not to beat yourself up too much. After the 10 minute mark of kids bickering I basically check out mentally anyway. You lasted until 20 which is honestly impressive.

RRick J.RegularJan 5

That 20 minute toy fight would have broken me too. The guilt is real but honestly you're not a bad dad for getting frustrated, you're just human. Kids fighting over the same toy for that long is legitimately maddening.