Why is it so hard to talk about this stuff? | DadHQ

Why is it so hard to talk about this stuff?

Dec 141 min read

Serious question. If I told my brother I was struggling with anxiety or depression, he'd probably make a joke and change the subject. My dad would tell me to "toughen up." My friends at work definitely can't know because I'd look weak.

But then I come here and can talk openly. Why is this community different? What's happening with how we raise boys that makes it so hard to be vulnerable about mental health?

6 comments152 views

Comments(6)

KKenny W.RegularDec 14

Therapist saved my life honestly. Not because my family was unsupportive exactly, but because I needed to talk to someone who wouldn't try to 'fix' it with advice or jokes. Just... someone to say 'yeah that sucks' and actually mean it.

IIan P.RegularDec 15

Found an online support group for dads with anxiety and it changed things for me. Didn't have to see these guys in person, no judgment, just dads being real about hard stuff. Worth looking into if your immediate circle isn't it.

TTom R.RegularDec 16

The work friends thing is so true. We can talk about kids, sports, whatever—but actual mental health stuff? Nobody goes there. It's changing but slowly. I've found older dads are more open about it than younger guys.

AAllen K.RegularDec 15

Your dad telling you to 'toughen up' is him not knowing what else to say. Not an excuse but generational thing. He probably IS struggling too but has zero vocabulary for it. Doesn't make it less frustrating though.

CCarlos M.New DadDec 17

This is the realest post on this forum. We're trained from childhood that vulnerability = weakness. My brother literally cannot have a serious conversation without deflecting. Not his fault, that's just how we were raised.

KKevin P.RegularDec 17

The 'why is it hard' question is the answer itself. We've been culturally conditioned that showing struggle = failure. Takes real work to unlearn that. But it's worth it because isolation makes everything worse.