12 months in - the things that actually matter

Jan 21 min read

My son turned 1 yesterday and I've been reflecting on the year. All the stuff I stressed about (perfect swaddle technique, keeping him on "schedule," buying the most expensive gear) didn't matter nearly as much as I thought.

What actually mattered:

My wife and I communicating when we're burnt out
Being patient when he wouldn't sleep at 3am
Learning his specific cries and needs
Just being present sometimes without trying to optimize everything
Taking videos (seriously, watch them)
Asking for help when I needed it

Year 2 feels less terrifying now that I know he's not made of glass. Shoutout to whoever recommended the "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" book on here a few months back - that actually helped.

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Comments(6)

VVincentNew DadJan 2

Happy birthday to your son. That first year is wild because you go from terrified to just accepting that you have no idea what you're doing and that's okay.

EEli L.RegularJan 3

The sleep deprivation made me stress about stuff that doesn't matter at all now. Glad you're coming out the other side with some perspective.

JJosh H.RegularJan 3

Would love to hear your actual list of what matters. Sometimes the reflective posts hit different than the 4am panic spirals.

DDwayne S.RegularJan 4

What was the biggest thing you thought mattered on day 1 but now realize was pointless? Asking for a friend who is 3 weeks in and panicking about literally everything.

CCarl W.RegularJan 3

This right here. We're in month 9 and I've already stopped caring about half the stuff I read in parenting books. Just keeping him alive and loved seems sufficient.

MMike F.RegularJan 4

Year two is different energy too. Once they start smiling and interacting back you realize all the newborn stress was just noise.