5-month-old won't sleep unless being held - am I doing something wrong?

Dec 201 min read

So my son Lucas is 5 months old and we're in this weird phase where he falls asleep fine on his own for like 20 mins, then wakes up screaming. The ONLY way to get him back down is to hold him for another 20-30 mins. My wife and I have been trading off every night and we're both zombies. We tried the Snoo (waste of $1,600 btw), we tried white noise, blackout curtains, everything. Is this just normal regression or are we missing something? Anyone else dealing with this? Our pediatrician just says 'it gets better' which is super helpful lol

12 comments31 views

Comments(12)

MMatt W.RegularDec 20

white noise helped ours bridge the gap between sleep cycles. didn't solve the holding thing but made the wake-ups less violent

VVic G.RegularDec 20

have you tried the contact nap during the day and then separate sleep at night? some babies just need to feel you there at that age. not forever, but during rough phases it's actually developmentally normal

WWalter T.RegularDec 21

5 months is right in the leap zone - Lucas is probably going through a developmental jump. The sleep regression is real and he might just need the comfort right now. Sucks but it's temporary

RRon D.New DadDec 22

Real question - are you trying to do full independent sleep at 5 months? Because that's actually a bit early. Most kids that age still need help falling back asleep. You might just be fighting development

CChad R.RegularDec 21

You're not doing anything wrong - this is just the 4-month regression hitting. It passes. For now yeah you might just be holding him more. Could try contact napping if you haven't yet

CClint R.RegularDec 22

Our son was EXACTLY like this around that age. We did contact naps for like 2 weeks then it suddenly got better. Lucas will be fine, you're doing great

KKarl J.RegularDec 22

The 20 minute thing followed by screaming is textbook sleep regression. Not a failure on your part - his sleep cycles are changing. Have you tried white noise or different swaddling?

GGary R.RegularDec 22

Hold him. Seriously, at 5 months if that's what he needs, that's what he needs. I know it's exhausting but the wake-up-screaming phase usually passes pretty quick once you get through it

TTony F.RegularDec 22

5 month sleep regression is brutal. Lucas is right in the window for it. the 20-min-then-scream thing is classic - his sleep cycles are changing. you're not doing anything wrong, this phase just sucks and will pass

DDrew H.RegularDec 20

replying to the contact sleep comment - this. people told us we were creating bad habits but honestly 5 months is so early. he just needs reassurance. the habits come later when you're trying to break it at 18 months

TTerry O.RegularDec 22

the holding thing isn't wrong but it's also a pattern that gets harder to break. we did modified extinction - would hold Lucas but gradually reduced contact over weeks. took time but worth it

NNick G.RegularDec 22

we went through this with our daughter around that age. ended up contact sleeping for a solid month because nothing else worked. we just accepted it, did shifts with my wife so one of us could sleep, and then around 6.5 months it got better