anyone else feel kind of disconnected from your partner after baby? | DadHQ

anyone else feel kind of disconnected from your partner after baby?

Jan 51 min read

Okay this is gonna sound bad but my wife and I barely talk anymore and when we do it's just logistics. "Did you feed him? When's his next nap? Can you change this diaper?" We used to have actual conversations and go on dates and stuff. Now we just exist in the same space mostly taking care of our 2 month old. Is this just the newborn phase or should I be worried we're growing apart? Don't wanna make it weird by bringing it up too hard but ngl I miss my wife

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Comments(5)

TTobias K.RegularJan 6

This is so common dude. After our first was born we literally went 3 months talking only about feeding schedules and diaper blowouts. The logistics conversation is actually a phase though. We started doing like 20 minutes after bedtime where we just sit and talk about anything but the baby. Small but it helped.

DDavidRegularJan 7

My therapist pointed out that we were in survival mode. Everything about the first year is just survival. Once the baby slept better and we got into a rhythm, we could actually think about each other again.

CChris F.RegularJan 7

Don't feel bad about admitting this. My wife and I are 18 months in and just now remembering how to have actual conversations. One thing that helped us was getting a babysitter for 2 hours every other week. Even just sitting at a coffee shop felt like we reconnected.

TTyler M.New DadJan 7

Yeah man this happened to us too. Wife thought I didn't love her anymore because I seemed distant. Turns out I was just exhausted and stressed. Once we had that talk it got way better. Don't let this fester.

JJasonNew DadJan 7

The logistical phase sucks but it does get better. We're 2.5 years out and finally back to being able to joke around and talk about our day instead of just doing handoff briefings about bedtime and nap times.