Anyone else feel like they're failing at the bonding thing?

Jan 17·1 min read

This might get me roasted but I don't feel that overwhelming connection everyone talks about. Our daughter is 2 months old and honestly most of the time I just feel anxious and tired. I love her, I know I do, but it's not this magical instant bond. I'm waiting for it to click but it hasn't yet. The mom groups all talk about how being a parent is the most amazing thing ever and I'm just... surviving. Anyone else been here?

6 comments136 views

Comments(6)

HHank L.RegularJan 18

Took me until my oldest was like 6 months old before I actually felt the connection. I was just surviving those early months, not bonding. The guilt about that was worse than the actual feelings.

OOscar D.RegularJan 18

This is the most honest post I've seen here. Not every dad feels that instant love bomb and pretending you do just makes things worse. Give yourself permission to not feel it yet.

BBen H.RegularJan 20

I felt exactly this way. Then one day my son laughed at something dumb I did and everything shifted. It's not always immediate and that's okay.

DDanielNew DadJan 19

How old is your kid? I felt totally disconnected for the first three months. My guy couldn't do anything interesting so I was basically a milk delivery system. Once he started smiling and reacting to me things changed.

FFred J.RegularJan 19

Talk to your pediatrician about this, not random internet dads. Post partum depression happens to fathers too and it's worth getting checked out just in case.

JJosh H.RegularJan 19

You're not alone at all. Some guys just don't get that instant rush and that's completely normal. The bonding thing happens gradually for a lot of us, not in that magical hospital moment everyone talks about.