ngl this is a weird take but changing my son's diapers (he's 3 months) is like the one thing I can do that's purely competence-based right now. I'm not leaking milk, I'm not a walking pacifier, I'm just... doing a task and doing it well? My wife thought I was insane when I told her this lol but like, I've gotten FAST and EFFICIENT at it. It's my thing. Is that weird?
This is actually really insightful about what you need right now. There's nothing wrong with finding your lane where you feel capable.
There's something really pure about a task with a clear beginning, middle, and end when parenting a newborn feels like endless chaos. Totally get it.
Honestly this makes total sense. You're doing something concrete and well-defined while everything else is chaos and uncertainty. That's therapeutic.
Not weird at all. Competence feels good, especially when you're in the fog of early parenthood. Your wife will get it eventually.
The fact that you're reflecting on this and communicating it is great. Some dads just resent that they're not the primary caregiver. You're finding your role and owning it.
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At 3 months postpartum for your wife she's probably in survival mode. Give her another month or two and she'll understand why you like having a clear win, even if it's just a diaper change.