Developmental milestone stress is ridiculous

Nov 211 min read

My 4-month-old isn't rolling over yet and I've already read five articles about how this could mean something is wrong. My mom says 'babies develop at their own pace' which is probably true but also NOT HELPFUL when you're googling 'signs of developmental delay in infants' at 2am. When did parenting become about comparing your kid's progress to every other kid on the internet? We're in Seattle and thinking about a pediatrician check just to stop the spiral.

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Comments(14)

JJosh E.Regular1d ago

The worst part is how the articles are written to make you panic. 'Most babies roll at 4-6 months' becomes 'YOUR BABY SHOULD BE ROLLING NOW' in your sleep-deprived brain. It's marketing fear.

MMarcus J.Regular1d ago

Same boat, different symptom. My 4-month-old doesn't smile 'socially' yet according to the internet and I'm over here documenting every face he makes at 3am like a forensic analyst. I feel seen by this post.

LLiam S.Regular1d ago

nailed it

FFrank T.Regular1d ago

The thing that got me was realizing that developmental 'ranges' online are usually showing 50th percentile milestones, not the full normal range. Rolling between 4-6 months is normal. Rolling between 2-8 months is ALSO normal. The charts just show the 50th percentile and act like it's gospel.

TTom P.Regular1d ago

wait, is your kid actually showing any concerning signs or are you just comparing to developmental charts? Because there's a huge difference. rolling over is one of the LATER milestones honestly. sitting up, tracking with eyes, cooing - those are the ones I'd focus on at 4 months.

KKeith L.Regular1d ago

Our pediatrician in Seattle (Ballard area) actually told us to STOP looking at milestone charts and just check in at our visits. Game changer. Finding the right doc who doesn't feed into the anxiety helps. Who are you thinking about?

SSam F.New Dad1d ago

The internet is a trap for this exact reason. My son didn't roll until 6.5 months and pediatrician said totally fine. He's now 3 and won't stop doing backflips off the couch so I'm begging for the days he couldn't move.

PPhil K.Regular1d ago

lol the 2am google spiral. been there. pro tip: delete the What to Expect app immediately

OOmar S.Regular1d ago

Genuine question: what started the rolling spiral? Like did someone say something or did you just read it and spiral? I'm asking because my wife does this and we found out it helped her to literally avoid parenting forums and just text her own pediatrician with questions instead of googling.

RRon D.New Dad1d ago

The 2am google spiral is real but honestly the pediatrician visit will probably be 5 minutes of 'looks great, see you in a month.' Just schedule it, get the peace of mind, move on. Your sanity is worth the copay.

MMatt J.Regular1d ago

We literally have a family group chat where my sister (also a new parent) and I compare milestones and I've realized how DUMB it is. Her kid crawled at 7 months, mine at 9 months. Her kid is 2 now and honestly they're doing all the same stuff. It means nothing. But still can't stop doing it lol.

DDave K.Regular1d ago

Your pediatrician check isn't a waste though. I did the same thing at 4 months and it was actually reassuring to hear 'yeah he's fine.' Sometimes you need to hear it from a professional to stop the doom scrolling. Lasted like 20 minutes and cost me nothing since it was during a regular visit.

WWill S.Regular1d ago

dude same except it was hiccups. I convinced myself hiccups meant something neurological was wrong. They're still hiccupping at 8 months and he's thriving. The brain does weird things on no sleep.

FFred V.Regular1d ago

This is exactly why I told my wife I'd be the one reading the parenting books. One of us had to stay sane. She still googles but at least I'm the buffer now and can say 'nope, pediatrician said normal' without the emotional spiral attached.