Discussion: Is co-sleeping actually that dangerous or are we just fear-mongered?

Nov 281 min read

Been reading a lot lately about safe sleep and the whole "babies must sleep alone" thing. I get the SIDS statistics but I also know literally every culture throughout history has had babies sleep with parents. My wife wants our 4 month old in our room longer but my parents keep making comments about us coddling him.

Anyone want to have a real conversation about this without judgment? What are people actually doing vs what the guidelines say? Looking for nuance, not fear tactics either way.

6 comments122 views

Comments(6)

BBen D.Regularjust now

The SIDS risk is real but also contextualized - it's highest in the first 3-4 months and with specific risk factors (soft bedding, overheating, alcohol, smoking). Safe co-sleeping is actually possible, it's just about doing it right.

RRick J.New Dad1d ago

The historical argument is kind of a weak one though - infant mortality rates were WAY higher historically. We've learned things since then. That doesn't mean co-sleeping is evil, just that some of the old ways weren't ideal.

JJamal W.Regularjust now

We did the Pack n Play right next to the bed as a compromise and it was great. Our daughter was RIGHT there so we could reach her, but she was in her own safe space. Stopped the "just bring her in to sleep" impulse but still had safety.

LLarry P.Regularjust now

Your parents' comments are annoying but they're coming from a place of worry. That said, at 4 months you CAN do safe co-sleeping. The key is a firm mattress, no pillows, baby between parents (not against wall), room sharing without bed sharing is also an option.

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SSean A.Regularjust now

I think the fear-mongering criticism is fair - American pediatrics does lean hard into the "isolated sleep" thing while other cultures do room-sharing safely. That said, SIDS IS real. The evidence-based middle ground is: room share without bed share if possible.

GGary R.Regular11h ago

Yeah true, that's fair. The SIDS risk reduction from room-sharing is like 50% though, so that's the evidence-based sweet spot. Whether that's co-sleeping or a bassinet nearby is up to the parents.