Do I go back to the gym or am I being selfish?

Dec 121 min read

My 3-month-old is finally on a decent sleep schedule and I'm thinking about getting back to CrossFit like 4x a week. My wife thinks I'm crazy and that I should wait longer. Ngl I'm going insane without exercise. But also... am I abandoning her? This is my first kid so I genuinely don't know what's reasonable. What's the vibe on this?

11 comments476 views

Comments(11)

WWes B.RegularDec 12

lol at 'finally on a decent sleep schedule' like man you're gonna jinx it. Once you commit to CrossFit 4x a week that kid is waking up at 3am guaranteed

SScott W.RegularDec 14

The 'going insane' part is legit though. I was in a similar headspace and my wife actually encouraged me to go after I admitted how bad it was getting

HHank C.RegularDec 12

Everyone needs this. The going insane part is real and valid. Start with 2-3x a week, prove you can keep it consistent, and revisit in a couple months. Baby needs a sane dad more than he needs you every second

TTony G.RegularDec 13

4x a week seems aggressive at 3 months honestly. Maybe start with 2x and see how it goes? Your wife probably has a point - she's still in the thick of it with the baby

TTerry O.RegularDec 13

I went back at 4 months, 3x a week, and honestly it saved my brain. Wife was supportive once she saw it helped with my mood. The key was making sure I wasn't just checking out

TTony L.RegularDec 14

4x a week is a LOT with a 3mo old tbh. Maybe start with 2x and see how it actually goes vs how you think it'll go? The schedule thing is fragile rn

PPhil C.RegularDec 14

I feel this. 3-month mark hit different for me - I needed to NOT be home so badly. My compromise was 2x a week and my wife got solo time on those days too. Win-win

DDave K.RegularDec 14

You're not being selfish. Mental health is real. BUT 4x a week is selfish with a 3mo. That's your wife's only real break some of those days probably. Do 2, see how it actually impacts things, not how you think it will

CCharlie A.New DadDec 15

Going to the gym isn't selfish but 4x a week when your wife is managing a 3-month-old solo might feel selfish to her. What if you do 2-3x and she gets equal solo time for something she wants?

HHugh S.RegularDec 13

You're not being selfish for needing mental health breaks, but 4x might not be realistic yet. Could you do 3 and negotiate a specific schedule so she knows when you'll be gone?

JJoel F.RegularDec 15

Your wife's not wrong that you're going insane but also going insane is actually a good reason to take some time for yourself. 2x a week is probably the compromise?