Does anyone else feel like their marriage is just... different now? | DadHQ

Does anyone else feel like their marriage is just... different now?

Jan 191 min read

Not asking for relationship advice necessarily, but like... my wife and I used to be spontaneous. We'd take weekend trips, we'd actually talk about stuff other than feeding schedules and poop colors. Now we're just two exhausted people living parallel lives. We coexist around the baby. Haven't had sex in 3 weeks even though she cleared it 6 weeks post-partum. Is this just the newborn phase or are we broken? Asking for a friend (it's me, I'm the friend)

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Comments(5)

EEric M.RegularJan 20

Have you actually told her you miss that spontaneous version of your relationship? Sometimes just having the conversation helps. We started doing one date night every other week and it's been a game changer for us.

TTyler R.New DadJan 20

Yeah man, this hits hard. We used to stay up until 2am just talking and being weird together. Now we're both just exhausted and talking about diaper blowouts instead of our dreams. I think it's normal but also kind of sad if you don't actively work to keep that spark alive.

JJordanNew DadJan 21

Different doesn't always mean worse though. Sure we're not backpacking through Europe anymore but we laugh at stupid dad jokes together now and she gets it when I'm touched out at the end of the day. Marriage evolves when kids come, that's just the reality.

JJoe B.New DadJan 20

This is exactly where we are at 6 months postpartum and honestly it worries me too. Everyone says it gets better but I don't see how right now when we barely have energy to look at each other.

JJakeNew DadJan 21

The spontaneity part gets me too. Like she wanted to go to that concert last minute and I couldn't because bedtime routine. But honestly we've found little pockets of spontaneity still work, like staying up after kids are asleep or doing random stuff on a Sunday. Gotta be intentional about it though.