Feeding journey - breast to bottle to actually being okay with it

Dec 211 min read

Okay so I'm writing this because I bottled fed my 3-month-old today without feeling like a failure for the first time. My wife tried exclusively breastfeeding and it was a nightmare - supply issues, latch problems, bleeding nipples, the whole thing. She started pumping and bottle feeding and felt incredibly guilty about it. I kept telling her fed is best but she was spiraling. Anyway, we switched to formula at 8 weeks and honestly? Our kid is thriving, my wife is so much happier, and I get to do feedings which means I get bonding time. Why is there so much shame around this? Don't new parents have enough to stress about?

10 comments48 views

Comments(10)

BBob G.RegularDec 22

This is so real and I'm glad you're feeling better about it. The narrative around breastfeeding is so intense that dads feel guilty even when they're just... doing the parenting. Bottle feeding IS feeding.

KKevin P.RegularDec 22

Your wife probably needed to hear this too. Breastfeeding struggles are brutal and the guilt can be crushing. You bottling feeding a baby successfully should've never been something that made you feel like a failure in the first place.

MMiles B.New DadDec 22

The intensity of this shame is what I'll never understand. You're literally caring for your child. Why does it matter how the food gets delivered?

NNeil C.New DadDec 23

3 months in is HARD. My wife struggled with supply too and I felt weird about the bottles at first, like I was somehow taking over something that was 'hers'. Then I realized that was dumb and the baby just needed to eat lol. Glad you got past that faster than I did.

RReggie T.New DadDec 23

your wife tried hard and it didn't work out. that's not failure, that's just... life. feeding your baby with a bottle is the opposite of failure

TTony F.RegularDec 23

Dude I remember this feeling so vividly. Month 3 I finally just said 'we're switching' and it was like a weight lifted. My wife could actually enjoy our baby instead of being a milk machine in pain

LLuke N.RegularDec 23

The fact that you felt like a failure is wild to me but also I totally get it because the culture around this is insane. Glad you're past it

WWade T.New DadDec 24

The fact that you're writing this matters. Other new dads are gonna read this and feel less alone in that guilt they carry. Supply issues are nobody's fault and formula does what it's supposed to do - feed the baby.

WWill T.RegularDec 24

THIS. We're at 4 months and I still feel weird about it but reading your post made me realize I'm not the bad guy here. Supply issues aren't a character flaw and fed is fed

FFred J.RegularDec 24

The messaging around breast being 'natural' and therefore better is toxic as hell. Your wife suffered for weeks. Baby gets fed either way. You're winning