My wife is breastfeeding and I'm genuinely happy about it but I feel kind of useless during those moments. She's bonding with the baby and I'm just sitting there watching. I help with everything else but those feeding sessions are her and the baby time. Is it normal to feel a little envious of that connection? How do other dads handle this?
Real talk, bottle feeding with expressed milk changed everything for us. Gave me actual feeding time with my daughter and gave my wife a break. Might be worth bringing up once things stabilize.
Man, I felt this exact same way with my first. But here's the thing - those nighttime diaper changes, the baths, the soothing when she's fussy? That's YOUR bond time. You're not useless, you're just doing different stuff and it's just as important.
I get it, but use that time for the stuff only you can do right now. Prep bottles, get the nursery ready, handle the laundry pile. I vacuum daily just to feel like I'm doing something concrete, and it helps me feel present even when I'm not the one feeding.
Two under two here and I'm telling you, the feeding moments are just one part of it. I became the diaper change king and the baby carrier guy, and honestly that's when I felt closest to my kids. You'll find your role, trust me.
Those nighttime bottle feedings are your time to shine. You're doing just as much as her, just in a different way. Diaper changes, gas relief, all that stuff matters.
I felt exactly this way for like the first month. Then I realized I could bottle feed her expressed milk sometimes and suddenly I got my bonding time too. It's not the same but it helped me not feel like a third wheel during feedings.
You're not useless at all. During those feeding sessions you can be handling literally everything else. Diapers, laundry, keeping the house running, making sure your wife is fed and hydrated. That stuff matters way more than you think.
Try being the burp master. Seriously, learn the best burping techniques and own that role. My daughter looked to me for burps even when mom was feeding, made me feel included and actually helped mom out a ton.
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You're not useless at all man. Honestly my wife told me afterwards that having me there as backup during feeding sessions made her feel safer and less alone. Sometimes it's not about doing the thing, it's about being present.