My wife is exclusively nursing our 2 month old and while I'm grateful we don't have to deal with pumping, I feel like I'm just standing around watching her do all the hard work. I do bottles when we use expressed milk and diaper changes but those feel like crumbs. Anyone else feel like this? Any ways to be more involved without making your partner feel like you're not supportive of breastfeeding?
Those early nursing weeks are tough for dads. Pick up the stuff she can't do like night diaper changes and keeping the house running so she can just focus on feeding and resting.
You're not useless at all. During feeds I'd be changing diapers, prepping the next bottle, making sure my wife had water and snacks. There's always something you can be doing to support her.
I felt the same way for a bit. Then I realized I was doing the diaper changes, burping, soothing after feeds, and honestly being there just watching and supporting your wife matters more than you think.
You're not useless at all man. My wife exclusively nursed our second and I felt the same way at first. But then I realized I was doing everything else. The diapers, the laundry, the cooking, keeping the house running. That stuff matters just as much.
This is so real. My wife nursed both kids and I remember feeling like I was just sitting there holding bottles of water. Pro tip: pump as much as you can on her timeline and take a feeding or two. At 2 months you might be able to give her a break with a bottle while you do skin to skin with the baby. Game changer.
You're not useless, you just haven't found your lane yet. My son's 8 months and honestly the most bonding time for us happens outside of feeding. I do bedtime routine, all the tummy time, the play sessions. You'll find your rhythm.
This feeling is real but you've got so much to do. You're her support system right now, not just backup feeder. Keep her hydrated, handle the night diaper changes, let her rest. That's huge.
Pump some bottles if you can and get some feeds in. Makes a huge difference for how you feel. Even one bottle a day so you can have that connection.
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Man, I felt this hard at 4 months. The breastfeeding thing was brutal for me because I felt like I was just... watching. But here's what helped: I took over literally everything else. Night diaper changes, baths, getting the baby ready in the morning. It gave me my own thing to do and actually made me feel essential. You're not useless, you're just in a different role right now.