Took 8 weeks with my daughter Emma and went back today. Spent the entire morning thinking about whether she was getting enough wet diapers. Couldn't focus in meetings. Got a Slack from my wife saying Emma smiled at a toy and I almost cried at my desk. How do working dads do this without going insane? And don't even get me started on the guilt.
Pro tip: my wife and I did a shared Google Doc for the first 12 weeks where we just logged feeds/diapers/sleep times. Took the guessing game out completely and freed up mental space. Game changer.
Week 1 back was my worst. Week 4 things clicked. Emma's 2 now and I can go full days without the panic spiral. You'll get there.
I'm 6 months back and honestly? Still think about it constantly but the INTENSITY fades. First month is the worst. You're allowed to be a mess right now.
How do we do it? We don't, we just pretend we're fine in meetings and lose our minds in the car on the commute home 😅
Almost cried at your desk over the smile? Dude that's beautiful not crazy. Wait til she laughs for the first time.
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The wet diaper anxiety is real. I was doing the same thing - asking my wife to send me pics of the diaper count like I was tracking national security. It does get easier around week 4-5 when you realize babies are weirdly resilient.
The fact that you WANT to be thinking about Emma's wet diapers means you're doing fine. Some guys check out completely.