Holy crap. Literally. That's all I have to say. I thought I was ready. I was not ready. It was in the hair. THE HAIR. My wife was laughing so hard she was crying while I was standing there like a deer in headlights trying to figure out which direction to start cleaning. If you're an expecting dad, do yourself a favor and watch some YouTube videos before your first encounter.
Dude I had this exact moment with my daughter a few months ago. Your wife laughing is actually the best reaction because trust me, it's gonna happen again and again. You'll get faster at cleanup eventually.
The fact that you went in thinking you were ready shows confidence at least. Most of us just panic and call our wives.
Oh man, the first blowout is a rite of passage. Wait until you get hit with one in the car or at the grocery store. That's when you learn to keep extra clothes everywhere.
I laughed out loud at this post but also felt your pain. There is no amount of preparation for the reality of baby poop. It defies physics.
Pro tip for next time: strip the baby down to nothing before you even start cleaning. Makes the whole operation way easier.
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Oh man, welcome to the club nobody wants to join. Yeah, the hair thing is real and it gets everywhere. My advice? Keep a dedicated washcloth nearby next time and just accept that you're gonna need a bath after.