Holy crap. Literally. Got poop on my shirt, in my hair, on the changing table, on the wall somehow. My wife was laughing so hard she couldn't help. I thought the diaper commercials were exaggerating but no. No they were not. How do you guys handle these without wanting to throw up?
Oh man, the first blowout. I had it in my beard somehow. Your wife laughing while you're covered in it is peak new dad energy. You'll laugh about this one forever.
That moment where the poop somehow defies physics and ends up places you didn't think possible. First of many, my friend. You got this.
Welcome to the club. It gets worse before it gets better, but honestly the chaos is half the fun. Pro tip: keep spare shirts near the changing table.
Ha, sounds about right for your first blowout. Pro tip for next time: baby wipes, extra clothes within arm's reach, and maybe a hazmat suit. The wall hits are the most surprising part every single time.
This made me laugh out loud. My kid managed to get poop somewhere I still haven't found. Just accept that you're going to be gross for at least the next three years and embrace it.
The hair detail got me. You learn real quick why changing tables need rails and why disposable gloves exist. Blowouts are like a rite of passage.
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Welcome to the club. Nobody tells you about the trajectory these things have. Just wait till you're finding mystery stains on your clothes hours later. The poop on the wall though that's commitment.