Both our parents want to come stay "to help" when baby arrives in 2 weeks. My wife's mom wants a week, my mom wants a week, my in-laws want a week. That's 3 weeks of people in our house. I love them but also... we need to figure out our own rhythm. How do you set boundaries on this stuff without causing family drama?
Three weeks with different people rotating through is insane for postpartum recovery honestly. Your wife's gonna need quiet and space to heal, not an audience. I'd cap it at maybe one week total, staggered if possible. Don't be the bad guy about this - frame it as what your wife needs
The hardest part is gonna be your mom AND your wife's mom both wanting a week. That's when jealousy kicks in and things get weird. Maybe alternate years? Or if your mom is your person, could she come later like month 2 instead?
Three weeks back to back is INSANE for a new baby household. You'll be sleep deprived, wife will be recovering, and having an audience the whole time is a nightmare. I'd push back hard on this. Maybe offer: one week total, split between families, NOT all at the beginning.
Have you talked to your wife about what SHE wants? Because honestly the new mom's comfort matters way more than keeping in-laws happy. She's the one recovering and nursing and leaking everywhere - she should have final say on who's in the house.
We did 1 week my parents, 1 week hers, and it was still too much. People think they're helping but mostly they're getting in the way and eating your food. Set a hard end date or you'll be prying them out after week 4
This is when you have to let your wife be the bad guy for her family and you be the bad guy for your family. Like you say 'my mom can come one week' and she says 'my mom can come one week' and the in-laws... might have to wait a month. Being loved doesn't mean unlimited access to newborn + exhausted parents.
Real talk: what would actually help you and your wife? Like not 'what won't hurt their feelings' but what would you actually want someone to do. Then offer THAT specific help instead of vague 'coming to help' visits. 'We'd love someone to cook and clean for a week' is different than 'come hang out with the baby'
boundaries are love. tell them all: 'we're doing one week total, we'll coordinate so it's not overlapping, and here's the reality - we need space to figure out our new normal.' they'll survive. they just don't know boundaries are even an option unless you set them
The 'to help' is the key phrase here. Helping = cooking, cleaning, laundry. Just being present = you handling everything while also entertaining them. Make it clear what you actually need help with or they don't come.
I let both sets of parents come in the first month and it was chaos - everyone had opinions, nobody actually HELPED, and my wife was crying from hormones + having no privacy. I'd tell them you appreciate it but no visits first two weeks. Then one week, one set of parents. Period.
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honest truth: new parents need rest and help, but 'help' from people who want to be helpful vs people who want to hold the baby is different. your wife gets to decide who comes and for how long. full stop
We did a hybrid - parents came for like 3-4 days each instead of a week, and they had a hotel. Meant they could help during the day and LEAVE at night. Game changer. your house needs to still feel like your house