I don't think I'm bonding with my newborn

1w ago·1 min read

My daughter is 3 weeks old and I feel like something is wrong with me. When I hold her I don't get the instant love that everyone talks about. I want to feel it but it's just not there yet. My wife seems to have this connection already and I feel like I'm just going through the motions changing diapers and bottles. Is this normal? When did you guys start actually feeling connected to your kids? I'm worried this means I'm gonna be a bad dad.

5 comments201 views

Comments(5)

RRick M.Regular1w ago

Three weeks in is still so early and what you're feeling is way more common than you think. Those early weeks can feel pretty mechanical, especially at 3 weeks when you're running on no sleep. The bonding piece usually clicks in a bit more as they start showing personality. Give yourself some grace here.

CChris M.Regular1w ago

I felt similar stuff early on and honestly it worried me too. But it changed for me around 8-10 weeks when my daughter started giving real smiles and interacting more. The early phase is just survival mode for a lot of us.

MMatt B.Regular1w ago

Dude, three weeks in is way too early to expect that instant connection everyone talks about. I felt exactly the same way and it took probably six weeks before it actually clicked for me. You're not broken, you're just in the early survival mode phase.

GGary R.Regular1w ago

Give yourself some grace here. Bonding isn't instant like they make it seem in movies. The fact that you want that connection means you're already a good dad. It'll come, I promise.

NNathanNew Dad1w ago

Have you talked to your wife about how you're feeling? Sometimes just voicing it helps and she might be feeling similar stuff too. Three weeks is brutal and your brain is probably just fried.