Is it normal to get annoyed when your kid cries?

Dec 171 min read

Not angry, not upset at the baby, just... annoyed at the sound? My daughter is almost 3 months and when she cries hard I feel this flash of irritation before the instinct to help kicks in. My wife seems concerned when I mentioned it. But like, she's crying at an ear-piercing frequency - that's literally what sound is supposed to do. Am I a bad person for being mildly annoyed by an annoying sound before I address the need? Or is this something I should actually worry about?

9 comments27 views

Comments(9)

MMack G.New DadDec 17

YO same exact thing with my son at that age. It's like your brain registers the decibel level as a threat and gets annoyed before the parent response takes over. Wild how fast the switch flips though

EEd P.RegularDec 17

The 'flash of irritation THEN instinct to help' is exactly what you want. You're responding, you're helping, the temporary annoyance is irrelevant. Don't spiral on this one.

NNate H.RegularDec 18

That flash of irritation probably means you need sleep more than it means anything else. When I'm exhausted even normal baby sounds make me feel snippy. How are you holding up on rest?

DDave K.RegularDec 19

Totally normal. Three months in their cry hits different - it's LOUD and your nervous system is fried. That flash of irritation doesn't make you a bad dad. The fact that you notice it and the help instinct kicks in is what matters

FFred J.RegularDec 17

Have you tried earplugs or white noise? My wife and I rotate nights and honestly just lowering the volume helps the irritation not spike as bad. You're clearly aware it's happening which puts you ahead of a lot of people

DDante J.New DadDec 19

Totally normal. Your nervous system is being triggered by a high-pitched sound that's literally designed by evolution to make you respond. The irritation isn't a character flaw, it's just sensory overload.

BBob G.RegularDec 19

Have you tried like earplugs or does your wife get irritated too? Just wondering if it's universal or if some people are wired differently for that frequency

OOscar D.New DadDec 19

Yeah man, I had this at 4 months with my second kid. First one I felt guilty about it but my pediatrician basically said 'congrats your brain is working correctly, that sound is meant to be annoying.' Helped me stop beating myself up.

RReggie K.New DadDec 19

This hits. I thought something was wrong with me. The guilt spiral about feeling annoyed made it worse. Knowing it's normal actually made me calmer which I think the baby picks up on.