Is it normal to miss being a couple?

Jan 10·1 min read

Not in a regret way, just in a "we haven't had a conversation that isn't about the baby in 3 months" way. My wife and I pass each other like ships in the night. When we do interact it's logistics - whose turn is it to go to bed first, did you order diapers, we need to talk about the pediatrician visit. I miss just... knowing what she's thinking about beyond the baby stuff. Is this just life now or does it get better as the kid gets older?

5 comments480 views

Comments(5)

AAndy T.RegularJan 10

This hits different. We had our second kid and I remember thinking 'when did conversations become negotiations about nap schedules?' The good news is it gets better. Around month 5 or 6 we actually went out to dinner and talked about a show we were watching instead of just staring blankly.

FFred V.RegularJan 12

My therapist told me this is actually really common and it doesn't mean something is wrong. She suggested we just try one evening a week where we don't talk about kid stuff at all. It felt forced at first but now we actually look forward to it.

TTommyNew DadJan 11

Totally normal man. My wife and I realized we were basically just tag-teaming diaper changes and looking at each other like exhausted zombies. We started doing 15 minute coffee chats after the kids go down and it honestly helped. Even just talking about something stupid helps reset the brain.

JJordan M.New DadJan 12

Pro tip: drive somewhere together without the kids. Something about being in the car makes conversation flow differently. We discovered podcasts together and now that's our thing. Still not the same as before but it's something.

PPatrick M.New DadJan 13

Yeah dude. The nostalgia for just being able to be spontaneous or watch a movie without pausing it 8 times is real. Doesn't mean you regret the kids, just means being an adult couple disappeared for a bit.