Just came back from paternity leave and it's hitting different

Dec 31·1 min read

I'm only 3 days back at work after 6 weeks home with the baby and I feel like I'm failing at both jobs now. I'm distracted in meetings thinking about whether my wife is managing okay with our 4-month-old. But also I'm not giving my work the attention it needs. My boss asked me to lead a project and I almost laughed. How do people do this? Did anyone else struggle with the transition back or is it just me being soft?

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Comments(5)

JJoshNew DadJan 1

Dude, that first week back is brutal. I felt like I was failing at work because I was thinking about my son the whole time, then felt guilty for not being present at home when I was home. Give it two more weeks and you'll find your rhythm again. The fact that you care this much means you're already doing fine.

MMarcus W.RegularDec 31

The guilt is the worst part. You're not failing though, you're just learning how to split yourself. It gets better when the baby gets older and doesn't need you every single second.

KKent R.RegularJan 1

Wait until you realize your coworkers have no idea what it's like. You'll be in a meeting and someone will complain about being tired and all you can think is 'you have no idea what tired is.' Anyway, it does get easier.

TTyler K.RegularJan 1

This is so real. I came back after 8 weeks and spent my first day just staring at emails not reading them. Talk to your manager about easing back in if you can. Most places are cooler about it than you'd think.

DDan T.RegularJan 2

6 weeks is an amazing amount of time. Most guys don't get that. The transition back is rough but you're building memories that matter way more than whatever spreadsheet you're working on today.