Just got offered a promotion - should I take it?

Dec 211 min read

My company wants me to move into a manager role with a 20% raise. In February when baby was born I would've jumped at it. Now? I'm scared. The role would mean more travel (currently zero), longer hours, and more stress. My wife would be home with our 9-month-old full time. She'd support either way but I can see the anxiety on her face when I bring it up. Is it crazy to turn down career growth for this? I never thought I'd be the guy who prioritized family stuff over ambition but here I am.

11 comments295 views

Comments(11)

AAllen K.RegularDec 22

Ask about it differently. Don't ask 'would this job have travel' ask them 'what percentage of months involve travel and for how long.' Make them be specific instead of vague. That'll tell you if they're serious about flexibility or just talking.

HHank W.RegularDec 22

that's a tough one man. 20% is real money but 'more travel' with a new baby is... a lot. What does your wife think about this?

CCarl L.RegularDec 22

don't do it. I took a promotion when my youngest was 6 months old thinking 'I can handle it' and I missed SO much. The money wasn't worth it. Your kid won't care about that 20% raise when they're older

DDominic E.RegularDec 22

I turned down a promotion when my twins were born and took one two years later instead. Best call I made. You're not going to feel ready for years probably, but waiting till baby is past the newborn chaos is smart

TTerrence J.RegularDec 22

20% raise sounds good until you do the math on childcare costs and missing the stuff you actually care about. I took a similar role and regretted it for 18 months before I had the conversation to cut travel back down.

NNate H.RegularDec 22

Don't take the promotion unless the travel is optional or negotiable. "Currently zero" travel becoming undefined is a red flag. Ask them specifically: how many nights per month, and is it variable? A newborn needs you home.

NNolan J.RegularDec 23

Here's the thing nobody tells you: the promotion will still be there in 2-3 years when the baby is older and you can handle it. Your kid won't stay this age. Take a beat.

JJerome S.RegularDec 22

Your gut is probably right. The fact that you're scared instead of excited says something. February-you would've been thinking like an individual. April-you (with a baby) is thinking like a parent. Listen to April-you.

GGreg W.RegularDec 23

Could you negotiate the travel part? Like be upfront that you need the travel minimized for the next 12-18 months? Some managers will work with you on that

DDom F.RegularDec 22

To the negotiation angle - I did this exact thing. Told them I needed 6 months of low travel while we adjusted, they said yes. Year later I was ready for more responsibility anyway

PPhil B.RegularDec 24

The 'I bottled fed my 3-month-old' energy suggests you're scared of the WRONG stuff. Fear of bottle feeding wasn't the real issue - it's that you're already stretched thin and a promotion would stretch you thinner