Just got offered a promotion that would wreck our childcare situation

Dec 11 min read

So I'm trying to figure out if I'm being an idiot or if my priorities are just different now. Got offered a job as a senior manager that pays like $30k more but it's mostly on-site and the hours are crazy. Right now I do mostly remote work with flexible hours so I can help with pickup/dropoff and bottle feeds. My wife makes less than me and asked how we'd even manage logistics. My gut says "turn it down" but my brain is saying "this is stupid, you provide for your family." Anyone else had to make a career trade-off after having kids? Or am I overthinking this?

12 comments482 views

Comments(12)

GGene K.Regular1d ago

This is way bigger than just money though. $30k sounds great until you're missing pickups, bedtimes, all the little moments. That adds up.

PPaul M.Regular18h ago

Have you asked if the role can be flexible? Like maybe not fully remote but not completely on-site either? Sometimes you can negotiate that stuff before accepting.

GGreg H.Regularjust now

The priorities thing isn't being an idiot - it's actually being smart. A lot of dads don't realize until too late that the career trajectory doesn't matter as much as they thought it would.

VVic H.Regularjust now

Real question though - is this about money or about feeling like you're not advancing? Because those are different problems. The money fix is one thing, but if you're feeling stuck career-wise that's another conversation.

MMatt W.Regular16h ago

What does your wife think? Because this affects her as much as it affects you, especially if childcare suddenly becomes her problem again.

MMitch R.Regular12h ago

The fact that you're asking this means the current setup matters to you. That flexibility is actually worth a lot. Don't undervalue it

EEli L.Regular6h ago

Can you negotiate? Like senior role but mostly remote with in-person meetings once or twice a week? Some companies will do that now

DDan W.Regular8h ago

Being there for pickup/dropoff is HUGE for kids. Some parents don't realize what that's actually worth until they lose it

LLuca P.Regularjust now

Real talk: would your wife go back to work full time if you took this job? Because that's the hidden cost. Could flip your whole life

PPhil K.Regular4m ago

Don't take the promotion. I'm serious. You already know how much you'll miss and the money won't make up for it. You've got a good situation right now.

CCliff B.Regularjust now

I turned down a similar opportunity and don't regret it. The senior manager title felt less important than being around

PPete Y.Regularjust now

That's a real tough call. $30k is money but it's not 'ruin family life' money. What does your gut say?