Just survived paternity leave - here's what nobody tells you

Dec 11 min read

Took 3 months off when my daughter was born and honestly it was the hardest and best thing I've done. First two weeks I felt like a zombie and questioned every decision. But then something clicked around week 4. I actually learned how to read her cries, figure out when she needed what, and my wife and I finally got into a rhythm instead of constantly asking "whose turn is it?"

The real shock was going back to work last month. I thought I'd be RELIEVED to get back to normalcy but I actually miss her constantly. Like I'll be in a meeting and just thinking about whether she's hitting milestones correctly.

Also if anyone's considering paternity leave - take it even if finances are tight. Your company will survive. Your kid gets older every single day.

12 comments54 views

Comments(12)

EEd P.Regular1d ago

3 months is a solid chunk of time. I only got 2 weeks and I'm honestly still salty about it. Can't imagine having 3 months to actually figure things out instead of just white-knuckling through.

LLuke N.Regular1d ago

This is so underrated. More dads should get extended paternity leave. Changes the whole dynamic

CChris F.Regular12h ago

The fact that you learned to read her cries is actually huge. So many dads don't get that hands-on time. That's valuable

DDean F.Regularjust now

The zombie weeks are REAL. I took 2 months and the first 2 weeks I questioned everything. By week 4 I genuinely didn't want to go back to work

GGrant C.Regular4h ago

3 months is such a good length. Long enough to actually learn your kid but short enough that you don't completely lose your job trajectory

JJake M.Regularjust now

Did your wife feel relief when you actually got competent with reading the baby? Because I feel like that's the huge thing - dads taking that pressure off instead of just 'helping' makes everything easier.

CCarlos M.New Dad15h ago

The 'reading her cries' thing - how long did that actually take you? My son is 2 weeks old and I'm still basically guessing between hungry/tired/uncomfortable and I feel like I should be better at this by now.

RRich B.Regularjust now

This is the real PSA nobody gives - paternity leave isn't just nice for bonding, it's actually essential for dads to build competence and confidence. The zombie feeling is temporary but the stuff you learn sticks.

TTyler K.Regularjust now

How did you feel going back to work after getting that rhythm? Or is your work situation flexible enough that you didn't lose it all?

TTony V.Regularjust now

Week 4 being the click point is so real. First month is just survival mode and then something shifts and you actually feel like a parent

GGary R.Regularjust now

How much did you share about what you learned with your wife? Like, did it change how you handled things when she came back?

AAl G.Regularjust now

The 'something clicked at week 4' thing is so real. Everyone talks about how hard the first two weeks are but nobody mentions that weird breakthrough moment where you suddenly understand your baby's communication system. It's wild.