My dad is driving me INSANE during paternity leave

Dec 28·1 min read

He keeps coming over unannounced "to help" but really just holds the baby while I try to figure out laundry and bottle sterilizing. Then he gives me unsolicited advice about everything - how I'm holding her wrong, the room is too cold, we shouldn't swaddle like that. My wife thinks I'm being ungrateful but this is supposed to be our bonding time, not performance review time. How do I tell my dad to back off without being a jerk about it?

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Comments(5)

DDerek M.RegularDec 29

Paternity leave is so short, definitely protect that time. Maybe suggest he comes on Saturdays at 2pm instead so you can plan around it?

TTony M.New DadDec 29

Man, this hits home. My dad did the exact same thing when my first was born. I finally had to tell him 'Dad, I appreciate it but I need to learn how to do this myself' and set specific times he could visit. He took it well once he understood I wasn't shutting him out.

RRichardNew DadDec 29

Have you tried asking him to help with stuff that actually needs doing instead? Like dishes or laundry instead of baby holding? My dad went from hovering to being genuinely useful once I gave him a task.

JJosh H.New DadDec 30

The unannounced visits would drive me up the wall too but honestly when your kid is older you might miss having an extra set of hands around. That said, your house your rules during this time.

RRobert T.RegularDec 31

Yeah the 'help' that doesn't help is the worst. At least with my dad I could say something. Sounds like you need a boundary conversation sooner rather than later.