My son called me by my first name instead of 'Dad' and I'm weirdly upset about it | DadHQ

My son called me by my first name instead of 'Dad' and I'm weirdly upset about it

Nov 231 min read

He's 3.5 years old and apparently at daycare they call teachers by first names. Now he's started doing it at home. "Hey Mike, can you help?" It's... weird. I know it shouldn't bother me this much but there's something about being called 'Dad' that makes me feel like a parent, you know? When he says my name it feels like he's treating me like a roommate.

I mentioned it to my wife and she thinks I'm being silly. Am I being silly? Is this a phase? Should I correct him?

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Comments(15)

DDave K.Regular1d ago

lol my daughter did this for like 2 weeks and I was genuinely offended. My wife laughed at me the entire time. It passes fast though

CCharlie A.New Dad1d ago

This is the way. Just redirect. "I'm your Dad, buddy" and move on. Don't shame him for it but be consistent. My son went through the exact same phase and it was gone in like 3 weeks once we were consistent about the correction.

PPhil B.Regular1d ago

My take: let it happen for like another week or two without correcting HARD, just casually saying "I'm Dad, not Mike." If it's still going after that, then be more intentional about redirecting. Some kids need to test boundaries before they stick, and if you come down too hard it might become a "thing" he does on purpose.

OOmar S.Regular1d ago

Tell him straight up: "I'm your dad. [Teacher name] is your teacher. You call me Dad." Don't make it mean. Just factual. Kids that age understand categories pretty well when you're direct. And yeah, if you're correcting him, your wife shouldn't be dismissing it - you're both parenting, that matters.

DDale J.Regular1d ago

Real question though - did the daycare explicitly tell you they use first names with the kids, or are you assuming? Because I'd actually want to understand what's happening there before deciding how to handle it at home. Different context.

TThomas H.Regular1d ago

This is actually pretty common with daycare kids who learn the teacher-first-name thing. The real question is: are you correcting him consistently? Because if you just let it slide sometimes and correct other times, it'll stick around longer. I'd make it a light game - "who's Dad?" and point to yourself. He'll get it.

NNoah B.New Dad1d ago

Yo same exact thing happened here. Our son started calling me by my first name after starting preschool and I felt... weirdly rejected? Like you said, the "roommate" feeling is so accurate. We started playfully correcting him ("I think you mean DAD") and it took maybe a month to fully stick. He still does it sometimes when he's being silly but mostly calls me Dad now. It's fine, you're not overreacting.

DDominic E.Regular1d ago

The roommate comment got me lmao. But yeah this is super normal and super temporary. At daycare they're using first names to build a different kind of relationship with teachers than home. Your son will code-switch eventually. Just redirect him when he does it and don't make it a huge thing.

BBrad N.Regular1d ago

I did the same correction thing when my oldest went through this. Took like 2-3 weeks of just casually saying "Dad, not [name]" every single time, but he got it. Now at 6 he only does it when he's being a goofball and it's actually kind of funny. The phase passes, don't stress too much.

CCarl W.Regular1d ago

You're not being silly at all. That dad title hits different. But at 3.5 he's just mimicking what he hears at daycare - totally normal. I'd gently correct it each time without making it weird. Like "I'm Dad, not Mike" and move on. He'll switch back once he realizes the daycare thing is just for teachers.

RRick J.Regular1d ago

honestly this is pretty harmless and temporary. but since you clearly prefer being called Dad (which is totally reasonable), just be consistent with the correction. Don't overthink it. He's 3, not 13 - he's not rejecting you as a parent lol

BBen H.Regular1d ago

I get why this bothers you but consider: at 3.5 he's still figuring out the whole social hierarchy thing. The daycare uses first names to seem more approachable/less authoritarian with kids. It doesn't mean anything about your relationship. That said, if you want to be called Dad, definitely redirect him. Nothing wrong with setting that boundary.

PPatrick W.Regular1d ago

Does your daycare actually encourage the kids to call teachers by first names, or did someone just tell your son to do that? Because I'd actually ask about their policy. Some places do it, some don't. Not saying you should be mad at the daycare but might be worth clarifying what's actually happening there.

AArchie K.Regular1d ago

nah you're not silly. There's legitimately something about your kid calling you by your parental title that reinforces your role. It's not about ego, it's about identity. That said, at 3.5 he's just learning context - he'll figure out that different people get different titles pretty quick. Just redirect when it happens.

DDex J.New Dad1d ago

Have you actually asked him why he's calling you that? Like sit down and ask "hey buddy, I'm your Dad. Teach me to call the teacher by their first name, but I'm Dad - what do you call me?" Make it interactive instead of corrective. Kids respond way better to that.