My wife keeps criticizing how I hold the baby

May 31 min read

Every time I'm holding our newborn my wife is like "you're holding his head wrong" or "support his neck more" or "not like that." I get that I'm new at this but it's making me anxious and honestly less likely to want to hold him because I feel like I'm doing it wrong. I've watched the videos. I know how to support his head. Am I being too sensitive or is this a thing other guys deal with? How do I talk to her about this without sounding defensive?

9 comments195 views

Comments(9)

RRob H.RegularMay 5

Man you need to set a boundary here. New mom anxiety is real but constantly correcting you isn't helping anyone. Your baby is fine. You're fine. You two might need to actually talk about why she's being so critical because that's exhausting.

MMark A.RegularMay 3

Man, I get this. My wife did the same thing when our first came home. Just tell her you appreciate the help and ask her to show you the right way once instead of correcting you every time. Once you've got it, you've got it.

CCharlie A.New DadMay 3

Yeah dude, this is rough. I'm dealing with similar stuff here in Brooklyn. I think she's just nervous because she's been reading all these parenting guides. Have a real conversation about it when the baby's asleep maybe?

JJared C.RegularMay 3

Two kids in and I can tell you the constant corrections would drive me nuts. Have her demonstrate the hold she wants and then let you do your thing. You're not gonna hurt the baby if you're being careful, and you need to build your confidence.

DDerek S.RegularMay 3

The way my wife came at me about how I did things nearly caused a serious fight. I finally said 'if he's safe and happy then back off' and it helped. It's tough because she's trying to help but it comes across as criticism. Have an honest talk when you're both calm.

DDanielRegularMay 4

New parent anxiety hits different. My wife was the same way when our son was born. Give it a couple months and she'll chill out. In the meantime just smile and nod. You know what you're doing.

RRonRegularMay 4

That constant criticism would drive me crazy. I dealt with something similar early on and finally had to have a real conversation about trust. If your baby isn't in danger then you're doing fine. Every parent holds a baby slightly differently and that's okay.

KKevinRegularMay 4

Your wife means well but newborns don't break that easily. You're probably doing it fine. Everyone freaks out with the first kid. She'll relax once she realizes the baby is tougher than she thinks.

MMiguelRegularMay 5

The constant criticism of how you're holding the baby would drive me nuts. You're the dad, you're allowed to figure out your own way of holding your own kid. She needs to let you do your thing.