Our 'romance' is basically dead and I don't know how to fix it

Jan 71 min read

So this is more relationship stuff than dad stuff but you guys probably get it. My wife and I haven't had sex since like week 2 postpartum (she's healed since then but just hasn't felt like it). We do have a 4-month-old so obviously life is different but like... we barely touch anymore. We're ships passing in the night. I miss her. I also feel like a creep for even thinking about it when she's so touched out and exhausted. Do things get better? When does normal come back? Or is this just the new normal?

4 comments351 views

Comments(4)

AAnthonyNew DadJan 8

The bedroom thing will come back. Right now your bodies are probably running on fumes. Focus on non-sexual physical touch first, like hand holding or back rubs. Sounds cheesy but it actually worked for us.

BBrandonNew DadJan 9

Man, this hits hard. The newborn phase destroyed our intimacy too. We started doing like 15 minute coffee dates where we actually talked about non-baby stuff. Took a few months but it helped us remember we're partners, not just co-workers managing a tiny human.

OOscar D.RegularJan 9

Have you tried telling your wife exactly this? Like sit down when the kids are asleep and just be honest about missing her. Sometimes the other person doesn't realize things have drifted that far.

MMarcus L.RegularJan 10

Second kid absolutely wrecked our romance for like 18 months. It gets better though. Once they hit school age and we got actual childcare coverage, things picked up. Hang in there.