She was clearly overwhelmed last week (I see that now) but I was also exhausted and just tried to keep my head down. She finally snapped at me about not stepping up and it turned into this whole thing. I apologized but also... how am I supposed to read minds? Do other couples communicate about this better or is this just part of the postpartum chaos?
I feel like this is the hardest part of parenting with a partner. You're both exhausted, you both have nothing left to give, and then someone needs to still be the one who notices. There's no easy answer but at least you're seeing it now.
Try setting up like one check in a day where you actually ask questions instead of just existing in the same space. When we started doing that it helped way more than I expected.
This is so real. When you're running on empty yourself it's hard to notice someone else is drowning. The key is probably checking in more proactively even when you're tired. Like a quick 'how are you actually doing' instead of assuming things are fine.
The struggle is real when both parents are in survival mode. Honestly therapy or even a parenting coach helped us figure out how to communicate better about this stuff.
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Did you guys talk about it after? Because I think what helps is acknowledging you missed it and making a plan to be more present. She probably wasn't mad about that one moment, she was mad you didn't realize the whole week was rough for her.