Partner wants another kid already and I'm still in survival mode

Jan 71 min read

My wife brought up having a second baby and I nearly spit out my coffee. Our daughter is literally 3 months old. I still feel traumatized from the birth experience, we're not sleeping, I have no idea if I'm doing anything right with this one, and she wants to jump right back in?

I love our kid more than I thought possible but I'm not even close to being ready to think about doing this again. How do I tell her that without sounding like a jerk? I don't want to shut down the conversation but I also don't think we need to make major family planning decisions while we're both running on fumes

6 comments326 views

Comments(6)

CCole B.RegularJan 7

Three months in and she wants another one? I respect the optimism but maybe give yourself at least a year before even having that conversation. You're still in the fog.

CCarlosNew DadJan 8

Survival mode with a newborn is real. Tell your wife you're willing to talk about it... in 18 months. By then you'll either actually be ready or she might realize two kids is enough.

NNathanNew DadJan 10

Your daughter is 3 months old, not 3 years old. Your wife might be feeling something postpartum wise that makes her want another immediately. Maybe check in with her about how she's actually doing mentally?

JJason B.New DadJan 8

I feel this so hard. My wife brought it up at like 6 months postpartum and I thought she was messing with me. We decided to revisit in a year when I could think clearly again.

TTodd N.RegularJan 8

Some women want to get the baby phase over with and get back to trying for a specific age gap. Doesn't mean you have to jump on it right now. Have a real conversation when you're not exhausted.

CChris P.RegularJan 8

I would literally have laughed at my wife for suggesting this at the 3 month mark. You're doing amazing just surviving this phase. Second kid talks can wait.