Sex after baby: does anyone actually manage it? | DadHQ

Sex after baby: does anyone actually manage it?

Jan 61 min read

My wife got cleared at 6 weeks (no complications, thankfully) and I'm not gonna lie, I was excited. But the reality is she's exhausted, touched out, and honestly so am I? We tried once and it felt kind of sad and obligatory. I'm not pressuring her or anything but I'm wondering if other couples deal with this dead bedroom thing after a newborn or if we're weird. Is it something that comes back naturally when the baby sleeps through or are we gonna have to consciously work on it?

6 comments502 views

Comments(6)

CChristopher M.New DadJan 6

Real talk it's different than before kids. Like we manage it but it requires actual planning now instead of just happening. We usually wait until Saturday morning after the kids watch cartoons so we have a couple hours before anyone needs something.

VVincentNew DadJan 7

6 weeks cleared is great but honestly we waited closer to 3 months. Wife said she needed the time and I wasn't going to push it. When it finally happened though man it was worth the wait. Just be patient with it.

MMitch R.RegularJan 7

This is the thing nobody tells you - even when you're both ready, you're also both exhausted. We've definitely had moments where we get into it and then just kind of look at each other like 'okay we're too tired for this' and call it a night.

BBrian K.New DadJan 7

We still manage it but way less frequency than before baby. I think we average like once a month now where it used to be way more often. The excitement you're feeling is real though, don't lose that.

LLuis H.New DadJan 8

My wife and I started being more intentional about scheduling it which sounds unromantic but actually helped a lot. Like we know Thursday nights are our night so we can look forward to it instead of it being this maybe thing that almost never happens.

TTyler K.RegularJan 8

The key is lowering expectations about what it looks like. It might be 10 minutes instead of an hour. It might be interrupted. But it still counts and it still matters for your relationship.