Son won't sleep unless I'm holding him - am I creating a bad habit?

Apr 281 min read

My 3 week old will literally only sleep if I'm holding him. The second I try to put him down in the bassinet he wakes up screaming. My wife keeps saying I'm making a rod for my own back but honestly I don't care at this point, I'm just exhausted and want some peace. Is this normal? Will he ever sleep on his own or am I doomed to be a human pillow for the next year? Also how do other dads even function at work on no sleep?

10 comments216 views

Comments(10)

MMarcoRegularApr 29

I was worried about this too with my son. Turns out at that age he just needs the comfort. Around 8-12 weeks things naturally started changing. Don't stress about spoiling him or bad habits at this stage. He'll sleep in a bassinet eventually, but right now he needs you.

BBrandonNew DadApr 29

The contact sleeping phase is rough but it's temporary. My advice is to get comfortable with it for now - use a safe sleep setup, maybe try a contact nap during the day so you can at least rest. Around 2-3 months you can start working on independent sleep if you want to.

VVincentNew DadApr 28

Man, at 3 weeks old that's totally normal. He's been hearing your heartbeat for 9 months so holding him is literally the most comforting thing in the world right now. You're not creating a bad habit, you're just being a good dad.

JJared C.RegularApr 28

I was paranoid about the same thing with my first. Spoiler alert: he sleeps fine now and those early holding sessions were some of my favorite memories. Soak it in, the phase passes faster than you'd think.

BBrandonNew DadApr 28

You're not ruining anything. That newborn phase is temporary even though it feels endless. My son did the same thing and now at 4 months he sleeps in the bassinet fine. Just ride it out.

CCraigNew DadApr 28

This is so normal. Everyone says you'll create bad habits but newborns are literally just trying to feel safe. Hold your kid. The bad habits thing is a myth.

MMarcusNew DadApr 29

Nope you're doing exactly what he needs. White noise helped us transition him eventually but honestly those early weeks just hold him. You can't spoil a newborn.

EEvan M.New DadApr 29

You're doing great. Some babies just need more contact than others. Try a swaddle and white noise machine once he's older if you want to transition, but honestly the newborn phase is so short. Enjoy the cuddles while they last.

RRyanRegularApr 29

At 3 weeks old, you're not creating a bad habit. You're meeting his needs. Some newborns just need to be held and that's totally normal. The 'bad habit' thing doesn't really apply to newborns - he needs closeness and your warmth right now.

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SSteveRegularApr 30

At 3 weeks you're not creating bad habits, you're surviving. Honestly let him sleep on you for now. The contact is good for him anyway. It gets better around 6-8 weeks when they can actually sleep longer.