The exhaustion is actually insane and idk how to fix it

Dec 261 min read

My wife and I work opposite shifts so one of us is always with the baby (saves on childcare but lol the cost is our marriage sanity). I work 2pm-10pm, she works 7am-3pm. We have a 4-month-old. I get home, she goes to bed basically immediately, and I do nights. I sleep like 5-6 hours broken up. On weekends we're both awake but also both responsible for the baby.

I feel like I'm in a fog. Like literally cannot remember if I fed the dog yesterday. We can't keep this up forever but can't afford full time daycare either. Is this just what the next 2 years look like? Because I'm not sure I can function like this long-term.

5 comments453 views

Comments(5)

TTyler K.RegularDec 26

4 months is still so hard on sleep. But this schedule needs to change before you both resent each other. Maybe start looking at part-time childcare even if it costs some money - your mental health is worth it

LLarry P.RegularDec 27

The real question is: is the childcare savings actually worth what it's costing your marriage? Because yelling about the dishwasher is your brain telling you it needs sleep. This isn't sustainable

MMike F.RegularDec 27

That schedule is brutal. Honestly you're not getting enough sleep because you fundamentally can't with that setup - you can't nap when the baby naps if you're working 2-10. One of you needs to sleep when the baby sleeps

SSean A.RegularDec 27

We did opposite shifts for like 3 months and I straight up had a breakdown. You're not weak or bad at this - you're just running on fumes. Something has to give and it probably shouldn't be your relationship

NNate C.New DadDec 27

Real talk: when you get home at 10pm can you just crash for like 5-6 hours uninterrupted? Because it sounds like you're on baby duty immediately which is why you're only getting 4. Maybe negotiate with your wife to cover the early morning shifts so you can actually sleep?