Still pretty new to this (3 weeks in) and honestly I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Changing diapers, feeding, trying to soothe when he cries. But I don't have that emotional connection yet that everyone talks about. Is this normal? My wife seems way more bonded already. Should I be worried or does this just take time?
It's different when you have twins versus one but yeah, that feeling of just going through the motions takes a while to shake. One day you'll do something without thinking and realize you actually know what you're doing.
Honestly man, 3 weeks is way too early to feel like a real dad. You're in the trenches right now. For me it wasn't until my son was like 6 months old that I stopped feeling like I was just faking it.
Going through the motions is literally what you're supposed to be doing at 3 weeks. That's not fake dad behavior, that's just survival. You'll feel more real when you've had more sleep and can actually think again.
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I think it hits different for everyone. For me it was probably a month or two when things stopped feeling completely terrifying and I realized I was actually doing okay. Three weeks in you're still in survival mode.