When did you feel like an actual father?

5d ago1 min read

My baby is 3 months old now and honestly some days I still feel like I'm babysitting. Like it hasn't clicked yet that this is my life now and this tiny person is actually my kid. Logically I know he's mine but emotionally there's still some disconnect. My friends with older kids say it hits you one day and you realize they're a real person with a personality. When did that happen for you guys? Should I be worried?

10 comments210 views

Comments(10)

EEdRegular3d ago

That's totally normal. I'm at 3 months with twins and some days I still feel like I'm just trying to keep them alive. The babysitting feeling fades I promise. For me it was around month 5 when something just shifted.

RRyanRegular5d ago

This is so common dude. I think for a lot of us that switch flips somewhere between months 4 and 6. One day you'll realize you're not just keeping him alive, you're actually raising him. That's when it gets real.

DDerekNew Dad4d ago

Honest answer? Around 6 months for me. At 3 months you're still in survival mode. It clicks when you realize you're not babysitting, you're their actual dad. Took me a minute to get there but it hits different when it does.

LLucas M.New Dad4d ago

Three months is still super early to feel like a real dad honestly. For me it clicked somewhere around month 6 or 7 when I realized I was just naturally doing dad things without thinking about it. Your moment is coming.

BBrandonRegular3d ago

That babysitting feeling is so real at first. I think what changed it for me was when he smiled at me on purpose - like he actually recognized me and wanted to see me. Before that it felt like I was just a caretaker. Give it a couple more months and something will click.

JJustinNew Dad4d ago

I still get those moments and my kid is 9 months now. But then he reaches for me specifically and I'm like oh yeah, I'm his dad. The identity stuff takes time to sink in. You're already doing great though just by asking the question.

SSean P.New Dad5d ago

Man, I was coaching my kid's soccer team when it really hit me that I was responsible for another human full time. Maybe yours will click differently but you're already in it, just riding the wave right now.

DDrew H.Regular5d ago

That babysitting feeling is so real at 3 months. For me it clicked around month 6 when my oldest started having a personality. Now with two kids I can't remember what it felt like to NOT be a dad, so it does change.

BBrandonNew Dad5d ago

Dude, I'm at 4 months with my first and still get that same feeling sometimes. I think it hits different when they start smiling at you on purpose or recognize your face. Give it time, you're already doing the work.

RRyanNew Dad5d ago

For me it clicked when my kid first called me dad and actually meant it, you know? Not the word, but the meaning behind it. Before that it felt borrowed. Give it time, you're right there.