When do you actually start feeling like a parent and not like you're pretending

6d ago1 min read

Honest question. My son is 6 months old and sometimes I still feel like I'm just playing house. Like I'm waiting for someone to tell me I'm doing it wrong or to come take him back. I love him more than anything but theres this weird detached feeling sometimes where I'm watching myself be a dad instead of actually being a dad if that makes sense. Anyone else feel this way or am I just weird? Do you eventually just feel like a real parent or do you always feel slightly like an impostor?

9 comments149 views

Comments(9)

AAntonioRegular5d ago

At 6 months you're still in survival mode honestly. I felt like a fraud until like month 8 or 9 when I realized I actually knew what I was doing. Now at a year she looks to me for comfort and that's when it clicked.

TTom H.New Dad6d ago

Honestly, I didn't feel like a real parent until my oldest was like 2 and I realized I was making actual decisions that affected his life. At 6 months you're still in survival mode, which is fine.

CCraigNew Dad6d ago

The imposter syndrome thing is real. For me it clicked around month 9 or 10 when I realized my son actually depended on me for everything and nobody was coming to take over. You're already a parent, you just don't feel it yet.

DDustin P.Regular6d ago

I'm in the same boat right now and I think about this constantly. Some days I feel totally capable and other days I'm like 'who let me take this tiny human home.' I think it just comes in waves.

DDerekRegular6d ago

Dude same. My son's almost a year and I still have moments where I'm like wait, they let me take him HOME? But it gets easier. One day you'll realize you made a decision about parenting without googling it first.

AAntonioRegular6d ago

6 months is still early. Give it time. The pretending feeling goes away when they start showing actual personality and you realize you're shaping a person.

DDerekRegular6d ago

Six months is still pretty early honestly. I'm at eight months and some days I still feel like I'm faking it, but then he laughs at something I did and it clicks for like five minutes.

RRonRegular4d ago

I think it's different for everyone but for me it was somewhere around the one year mark when my daughter started showing her personality more. That helped it feel real.

BBrandonRegular5d ago

The playing house feeling is so normal. With four kids I can tell you it goes away eventually but not on any schedule anyone can predict. One day you just realize you actually know what you're doing.