Bottles, water, temperature, sterilization, timing, tracking intake, adjusting formula ratios, monitoring output, growth charts, percentiles, milestones... I just wanted to have a kid, not become a data analyst. Everything has an "optimal" way to do it and a "not ideal" way and I'm constantly googling whether I'm messing something up. Is it normal to feel this much pressure or am I just anxious?
You're in the weeds right now. In like 2-3 months you'll realize 90% of this 'optimal' stuff doesn't matter and your kid is thriving anyway. The anxiety is manufactured by too much googling. Stop checking growth charts for a while, you'll feel so much better.
The percentiles thing especially - like who cares if he's 47th percentile vs 52nd? Babies vary. Stop reading the charts. If your pediatrician is happy at checkups, you're doing fine. All that anxiety is just your brain on new parent stress hormones.
Welcome to newborn parenting lol. The data analyst thing is SO real. We had like 5 different apps trying to track everything and I finally just said 'if he's eating, pooping, and not screaming, he's fine' and it was so much less stressful.
Honest advice: pick ONE resource you trust (your pediatrician, ONE parenting book, one app) and stop Googling. Every source has different advice and that's what's driving you crazy. The optimal way to do everything is usually just... whatever works for your baby.
The percentile obsession is real. Your kid does not care if he's in the 40th or 60th percentile for weight. Long as he's gaining and happy, you're winning. Percentiles exist for doctors to track trends not for you to stress about.
You're gonna laugh at yourself in a year for how much you cared about exact ounces and optimal sterilization. At 3 months old your baby is basically indestructible. Feed it, keep it clean enough, let it sleep. Done.
WELCOME TO PARENTHOOD lmao. Yeah the optimization is insane. Just remember: millions of babies have survived being fed at slightly wrong temperatures and non-optimal milk ratios. You're overthinking because you care but also... your kid will probably be fine.
Bottles, sterilization, timing, tracking - that's like your wife's mental load right now probably. And if it's YOURS too you're both in the weeds. Someone needs to pick a system and own it so there's not two people second-guessing every decision.
The tracking and data thing gets better around month 5-6 when you realize the baby is clearly thriving and you can stop Googling 'is one poop every 3 days normal for breastfed infant'
The sterilization obsession is crazy too. Like your parents never sterilized anything and we all survived. Room temperature water is fine. Your baby won't die from sub-optimal bottle temperature. The anxiety is worse than any actual problem will be.
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This is peak early parenthood stress. Bottles, timing, tracking - it all feels like life or death but it's really not. Your job is to feed him when he's hungry and love him. That's it. Everything else is noise that the parenting industry sells you to make money.