Wife is losing it with the 4am feeds, I need to step up

2w ago1 min read

So my wife has been the primary feeder since we came home from the hospital 2 weeks ago and I can see she's absolutely exhausted. Dark circles under her eyes, snapping at me over nothing. I work from home so I've been trying to help where I can but honestly I feel kind of helpless. We're bottle feeding so there's no reason I can't take some of the night shifts. Anyone else do this? How do you split the nights with your partner so you're both not completely destroyed?

9 comments187 views

Comments(9)

BBrandonRegular2w ago

Get up for at least one of those 4am feeds if not both. Your wife is exhausted and you're the other parent. It doesn't matter if you work or whatever, step up right now while you can still do the overnight thing. This is not optional.

BBob M.Regular2w ago

Take those 4am feeds NOW. Your wife needs real sleep and you need to see what she's dealing with. You'll both be better for it and honestly it's one of the best early bonding times with your kid.

RRussell D.Regular2w ago

Two weeks in and you're already thinking about this, so you're already ahead of the game. Grab some of those feeds and let her get uninterrupted sleep. Game changer.

PPhil M.Regular2w ago

Man you are doing the right thing. Those 4am feeds are brutal and your wife needs the sleep. I started taking every other night with bottles so my wife could get a solid 5-6 hours. Game changer. You've got this.

MMason T.New Dad2w ago

Yes. Do it. I did the same thing around week 3 and my wife went from crying every day to actually being human again. Even one night a week makes a massive difference.

RRyanRegular2w ago

Two weeks in and she's already losing it means it's time now, not later. Set an alarm, bottle feed every other night, and let her get some real sleep. You can handle a couple bad nights a week. She's healing and running on fumes.

BBrandonRegular2w ago

Real talk, the first month is survival mode. Just take half the night feeds and be solid about it. Don't make her ask twice. She's probably not complaining because she's too tired to even say anything.

RRyanRegular2w ago

This is huge. I remember being in your exact spot at 2 weeks in. Pro tip: pump enough during the day so you can do the 4am with a bottle and let her sleep. My wife said it literally saved her sanity.

EEricRegular1w ago

Dude step up immediately. I did the math early on and realized my wife was doing like 90% of the night stuff and I was sleeping through it like some kind of caveman. Take those feeds. Make her sleep. This is the moment where you either show up or you don't.