Need help figuring out why my 6yo keeps giving up on building projects

Dec 191 min read

So we got one of those LEGO Architecture sets and I was pumped to build it together. My son did great for the first 10 minutes, then the moment he couldn't find a specific piece he just... shut down. Said it was "too hard" and refused to keep going. I tried to help him problem solve but he got frustrated with me instead. Anyone else deal with this? Is he just not ready for these, or am I doing something wrong?

11 comments289 views

Comments(11)

AArchie M.RegularDec 19

honestly this reads like frustration tolerance, not a lego problem. my kid had the same issue and it got way better once he got older. 6yo brains aren't great at pushing through failure yet. the fact you're building with him at all is win

PPete S.RegularDec 20

My approach now: I build the model alone first on Friday night, take pics of each step, then we "rebuild it together" using my photos. Removes the missing piece problem entirely and he actually gets to complete something

CChad R.RegularDec 20

ah yeah that's the LEGO frustration wall. my 6yo does this too. he gets to the first tiny piece he can't find and just checks out mentally. we started skipping ahead to the next step if he gets stuck, takes the pressure off

RRandy S.RegularDec 20

This is a frustration tolerance thing. He probably has low tolerance for the "stuck" feeling. When my 6yo does this with LEGO I just pause and say "let's find a different piece to use" and it resets his brain. Gives him control back

FFred J.RegularDec 20

this might be a perfectionism thing? some kids freak out if things aren't 'right' immediately. try giving him permission to skip pieces or do them out of order. sometimes it helps if they feel like they have control

DDrew H.RegularDec 21

my sons literally IDENTICAL to this and we found out he's got some sensory stuff going on. might be worth asking pediatrician about it but also could just be normal 6yo stuff

EEric V.RegularDec 21

LEGO Architecture sets are brutal for this age. They're more for 8+ even though the box says 6+. Try the regular LEGO Creator sets instead—more forgiving and they don't shut down as easily

RRay C.RegularDec 21

The first 10 minutes success followed by shutdown is classic perfectionism emerging. My kid does this too. We've started building LEGO strictly by imagination now instead of instructions. Different vibe, no "wrong" pieces

TTodd N.RegularDec 20

that's good advice about the sets being age-inappropriate. but also real talk—did you show frustration when he gave up? sometimes kids mirror our energy

CChris T.RegularDec 22

i'd be frustrated too if i'm looking for one tiny piece in a pile of 500. maybe grab some organizer trays? my kids actually got more patient once we could find pieces faster

NNick J.RegularDec 22

did you try breaking the instructions into smaller chunks? like instead of 'build the whole set' it's 'let's do this one section'? my son responds way better to mini-milestones